How To Attract A Good Man

Summary

You’ve probably heard of dating smart but have you heard of attracting smart?  It’s the preliminary to landing better quality dates and ultimately better quality relationships.  Applying 5 S.M.A.R.T. things to your life, could very well put you on the right path to attracting a great guy sooner rather than later.

#1. S - Set a DATE ONLY STANDARD.

When it comes to a potential romantic prospect, if you’re determined to attract smart then get into the practice of excepting nothing less than an “official” date.  This means you no longer agree to “hanging out” or the popular “Netflix and Chill” scenario.  (SN: This is about attracting smart so if you’re already in a relationship and want to stay in and Netflix with your boo then by all means, binge on!)  If you’re looking for something serious having a “Date Only Standard” says only serious applicants need apply.  

Here's how this works:

When a guy says:
“We should hang out”
you reply by saying something like:
“I’m not into hanging out, but if you’d like to take me on a date I’d love it!”

This instantly weeds out the guys that never intended on building anything serious.  But do note, there will be some who rescind their offer to "hang" or reject the idea of a date all together.  BUT THAT’S OK! And for this to work you have to be ok with that happening. The end game here is a better quality guy.

#2. M - MINDSET CHANGE: Dating is an EXPERIENCE (not a means to an end).

Often dating is turned into this huge pressure filled ‘means to an end’.  It becomes an anxious first step to having the life with Mr. Right we've been longing for.  And that’s just too much pressure on the process of dating.  

Newsflash: Most dates will not turn into happily ever after.  

What a date should be is an experience, an amazing opportunity for you to fine tune your likes and dislikes, meet new people, and gain the momentum and confidence needed to do it all again without all the pressure.  

Dating as an experience as opposed to dating to “find someone” allows you to take the pressure off and have fun. Deciding to accept dating as an experience says you'll stop analyzing your forever, and just allow a date to be a chance to meet a new interesting person.  If something wonderful comes out of it … well that’s an added bonus.  

#3. A - ACTUALLY HAVE A LIFE.

The best dates are among two interesting people sharing a bit of their interesting lives.  But great dates aside, studies show that people who understand that life is short and live full and enriching lives are among the most confident and happy people on the planet.

Get out there and start learning new things, experiencing new things, embracing new things.  According to science this is part of the fabric that can make you happier and more confident.  You may also bump into your special someone while on a quest to enrich your life.

#4. R - RECRUIT RECRUITERS

Top companies looking to fill high level positions pay specialized individuals to find highly qualified candidates, they're called headhunters.   And the reason for using headhunters makes a lot of sense.  High value positions often take more eyes and access to spot qualified candidates.  

What this means for you is, it’s time to tell a select group of people you’re open and ready to be set up.  

This does not mean you ask any and  everyone to set you up on a date. NO!

 Like headhunters, your recruiters are strategic specialized partners that can help you spot a worthy date.  Your recruiters should fit BOTH of the following requirements:

1. They are currently in or have a history of being in healthy relationships.
2. They are genuinely for you! They know you, love you, and can be trusted not to set you up with someone "under-qualified" 

If no one you know fits BOTH requirements - you don't have any recruiters.  It's best to skip the step of asking to be set up until you have someone who can offer quality dates.

#5. (my favorite!) TREAT YO' SELF!!

If you’ve committed to attracting and dating smart than you're to be commended, CELEBRATED!  You’re ahead of the game and that can only mean better things for you.  

Because of this take a moment to find a way (or ways) to treat yourself for your small (and large) wins!

If you were passed up by a cutie because you set a standard of only accepting a date … Treat Yo’ Self!

If you realize your date may not turn into anything serious but you’re still determined to have a good time … Treat Yo’ Self!

If you decided with or without a man you’re going to travel the world, learn a new language, and take up oil painting … Treat Yo’ Self!

And if you told some strategic partners you’re open and willing to be set up … YES! TREAT YO’ SELF!!


Remember attracting the love that you want may be as close as making a few tweaks to your everyday habits.  So give S.M.A.R.T. attraction a try and see if and how things change for you.

Signed your #1 Cheerleader (YOU GO GIRL!!),

Tiye

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