The Secret To Get A Shy Guy


Building and cultivating a relationship with a shy guy can be asuper rewarding experience.  If you are a woman that’s interested in a shy man then getting him comfortable enough to talk freely to you has the potential to work out favorably for you.  

Here’s what you can do to get that shy guy to open up and talk to you.


Where passion lives, shyness dies.  

In general, people are a lot more confident when asked about or talking about something they highly enjoy or something they’re highly skilled in.

Even the shyest person lights up when talking about something they know well.

So pay attention to what he talks about while talking to others.  If you’re around him often enough look for clues that may indicate a hobby or interest.  And don’t cyber stalk him or anything, but stop by his social media accounts and briefly see if you can pick up on what he may be into.  

Then once you think you’ve got something, ask him a question about it, ask him to explain something about it.  Or if it happens to be one of your interests too, tell him you noticed he liked it then enthusiastically share how much you love it too.

But don’t skip the open ended question because you want to give him a win. You want him to become more comfortable talking to you.  When he finds he can finally talk to you about something, and you’re cool and accepting of it, he’s a lot more likely to talk to you again.


For most shy guys talking in person is an all out nerve wrecking experience.  He’s more likely to feel most comfortable behind the safety of the internet. So initiating conversation via social media is more likely to get you a more open response from him.  

However I’m assuming you want to talk to this shy guy because you’re interested in him.  If that’s the case you need a plan to move from social media to talking in real life.  

Here’s my best tip for that, after 2-3 exchanges (I message you + you message me back = first exchange. You message me + I message you back = 2nd exchange.)  suggest that you two become contacts on the texting app What’sApp.  Why you ask?  

First you want to exchange numbers.  If you like this shy guy, you want to move the medium of conversation in the trajectory of talking for real.

 But this is a shy guy so exchanging numbers in a texting app will probably cause him to be much less anxious about the thought of calling.

Second, to wean into the process of phone calls, it’s time to start intermingling voice messaging.  With What’sApp it’s as simple as pressing and holding the small microphone icon. Send him a quick voice message instead of a text. He may or may not have the confidence to respond with voice right away but eventually he’ll do so.  Plus he gets the added bonus of hearing your voice consistently.  

Something he’ll definitely want more of.


Shy men are in their heads a lot.  Constantly wondering if they sound stupid, or if they’re boring, the list goes on.  

Help him become more comfortable talking with you by always ending your exchange with validating you’re safe to talk to.  

Tell him you enjoyed the conversation.  Thank him for talking to you and making your day.  Tell him you feel comfortable talking to him and you look forward to talking again.


If you do these three things not only will you be able to talk to a shy guy you might even start a relationship with one.

Hope you enjoyed this episode.  You may even want to share!  If you did I’d be so appreciative, so thank you in advance for doing so.  

Remember if you haven’t joined the TLM Dressing room where the insider action is … now is the perfect time to do so.

You can have the love you want.  You just have to do something different to get something different.  And if you’re willing to do the work, I’m more than willing to help you get there.


Wishing you butterflies and lovely first conversations,